It sure is tough to find time to blog these days! I've been wanting to write this blog for a few days now... I'm going to jot down my thoughts since I have some time and hopefully they come together and make sense.
This past weekend, my team and I traveled to Pomona, CA for a weekend prayer retreat. These quarterly retreats have been super fruitful for me over the past year and I am really grateful for these scheduled times to reflect, pray, and rest. After eating dinner on Friday, we were encouraged to spend a little time with God, asking him to speak about what he might want to do with us over the weekend. As I was praying and reflecting during this time, a very interesting, and seemingly random passage of Scripture came to mind. It was the one about God calling Abraham to take his son Isaac up to the mountain to sacrifice him. If you're not familiar with the story, check out it out here:
Bible Gateway passage: Genesis 22 - New International Version 1984
Now, if you know the story, you know how huge of a request this was for God to make of Abraham. Not only was this his one and only son, it was the fulfillment of God's promise to bless Abraham and his wife Sarah and all generations by making Abraham the "father of many nations". Abraham was 100 years old when God finally blessed Sarah and Abraham with a son. Now he was asking Abraham to give up this miraculous gift! And even more miraculously, Abraham obeyed God's command without a single doubt or question.
Now, when this verse came to mind, I was a little confused. I hadn't read this passage for a couple of years probably and it didn't seem very relevant to me. But it seemed quite poignant and I did not question that God wanted to speak to me through this passage that He brought to my mind. After some reflection and prayer, it seems to me that God may have brought this passage to mind in reference to my upcoming trip to Bolivia. I've been passionate about Bolivia for 8 years now and have been anxiously awaiting the day when the Lord might call me to make a long-term commitment to this place. I felt like God was telling me to check my posture toward Bolivia. Am I placing too much hope and emphasis on Bolivia? Do I view my call toward Bolivia as a gift from God? Am I willing to sacrifice this call if God calls me to do so? Is my first and greatest desire to know, love, and obey God?
At first, I was a little worried that God was closing the door to Bolivia, but I don't think this is his intention. Rather, He is calling me to go to Bolivia with right and sober judgement. He is the one that gave me the call to Bolivia and I need to recognize it as a gift from Him. God is my first love and He knows my heart. If I am able to hold my desires and His promises with open hands, He will know that I love and fear Him above all else.
I'm still working through this, but I am challenged and encouraged by this word. It's always good to check my motives and it seems an appropriate time as I prepare to make a discernment trip to Bolivia. May your will be done, Father. Either way, I want to love you and obey you.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Crime
Last Saturday, Tabor and I attempted to Sabbath together again. We got a later start than we wanted to, but eventually purchased metro day passes to explore the city by public transit. Unfortunately, the coffee shop we were planning to try out closed at 4pm, just about an hour before we got there... :( We decided to continue the adventure by hopping on the train up to Pasadena. We got some yummy dinner and coffee and explored a little bit. Then a friend of Tabor's picked us up with a couple of her friends and took us back to her place for pumpkin cookies and a movie.
We ended up finally leaving Pasadena around 10pm. We had planned out our return journey and decided it was fine to head back late since we wouldn't be passing through any particularly dangerous areas and would be dropped off by the bus only a block from my apartment. Due to many unforseen variables, the journey took much longer than expected... finally arriving home around 1230am! It was on the final leg of our journey that we were reminded of why being out late, especially on foot and public transit is not advised. We got off the subway about two miles north of where we live, planning to catch a bus just across the street right to my house. When we got up to ground level we found that the main road, Vermont, was completely closed off by cop cars, there were 3 helicopters circling the area with their spotlights shining, and squad cars were flying all over the place with their lights and sirens on. We had no idea what was going on... and neither did anyone else. Despite all of the apparent chaos, the road and sidewalks were packed, just like any other Saturday night. After waiting for our bus for about 20 mins (right at the corner where traffic was being diverted off of the main road), we decided that the bus might be turning off a block or two up the road. We headed up a block and found a big group of people eagerly awaiting our bus. The bus finally rolled up just before midnight. Thankfully, we soon arrived at my house, much later than expected, but safe and sound.
It was killing me not to know what was going on up the road on Vermont. I told Tabor to see if she could find anything on the internet when I dropped her off at her house and to text me if she found anything. She texted me and I just had to read the story for myself. It sounded fake... 2 undercover cops intervene after witnessing a gang-related shooting, both end up getting shot, one of the shooters gets caught and the other is running loose through Koreatown. Check out the story for yourself:
http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/lanow/2011/10/two-undercover-police-officers-shot-wounded-in-koreatown.html
Even though I was completely exhausted from the day, I ended up staying up for another hour perusing the Neighborhood/Crime section of the LA Times website. I found a section that specified all of the homicides that have occurred in my neighborhood since 2007 - the most recent occurring just this past July. I looked up all of the violent and property crimes reported over the last several weeks in my neighborhood - including the Grand Theft Auto of one of my teammates cars, which occurred while we were in Oakland over Labor Day weekend. Then I compared my neighborhood to several others in South LA. My neighborhood is pretty bad, but the worst crime neighborhoods are just a little further south of me. I was shocked by the stats and found myself fighting feelings of fear and despair.
When you walk the streets of my neighborhood in broad daylight and stick to the safety of your home after dark, it's easy to forget the chaos and violence of the streets. It's a dark and broken world - full of violence and oppression. And while there are many reasons to despair, I want to be a person that does not let go of hope. Because one day, God will redeem this fallen world and set all things right. I am reminded of the sermon that I gave for my internship class...
17 "See, I will create
new heavens and a new earth.
The former things will not be remembered,
nor will they come to mind.
18 But be glad and rejoice forever
in what I will create,
for I will create Jerusalem to be a delight
and its people a joy.
19 I will rejoice over Jerusalem
and take delight in my people;
the sound of weeping and of crying
will be heard in it no more." (Isaiah 65:17-19)
I refuse to live in fear. I refuse to lose hope. I choose to be glad and rejoice in what the Lord will create. For He is a God that redeems all things.... and not just in the idealized New Heavens and New Earth, but here and now. Join me in praying for my neighborhood.
We ended up finally leaving Pasadena around 10pm. We had planned out our return journey and decided it was fine to head back late since we wouldn't be passing through any particularly dangerous areas and would be dropped off by the bus only a block from my apartment. Due to many unforseen variables, the journey took much longer than expected... finally arriving home around 1230am! It was on the final leg of our journey that we were reminded of why being out late, especially on foot and public transit is not advised. We got off the subway about two miles north of where we live, planning to catch a bus just across the street right to my house. When we got up to ground level we found that the main road, Vermont, was completely closed off by cop cars, there were 3 helicopters circling the area with their spotlights shining, and squad cars were flying all over the place with their lights and sirens on. We had no idea what was going on... and neither did anyone else. Despite all of the apparent chaos, the road and sidewalks were packed, just like any other Saturday night. After waiting for our bus for about 20 mins (right at the corner where traffic was being diverted off of the main road), we decided that the bus might be turning off a block or two up the road. We headed up a block and found a big group of people eagerly awaiting our bus. The bus finally rolled up just before midnight. Thankfully, we soon arrived at my house, much later than expected, but safe and sound.
It was killing me not to know what was going on up the road on Vermont. I told Tabor to see if she could find anything on the internet when I dropped her off at her house and to text me if she found anything. She texted me and I just had to read the story for myself. It sounded fake... 2 undercover cops intervene after witnessing a gang-related shooting, both end up getting shot, one of the shooters gets caught and the other is running loose through Koreatown. Check out the story for yourself:
http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/lanow/2011/10/two-undercover-police-officers-shot-wounded-in-koreatown.html
Even though I was completely exhausted from the day, I ended up staying up for another hour perusing the Neighborhood/Crime section of the LA Times website. I found a section that specified all of the homicides that have occurred in my neighborhood since 2007 - the most recent occurring just this past July. I looked up all of the violent and property crimes reported over the last several weeks in my neighborhood - including the Grand Theft Auto of one of my teammates cars, which occurred while we were in Oakland over Labor Day weekend. Then I compared my neighborhood to several others in South LA. My neighborhood is pretty bad, but the worst crime neighborhoods are just a little further south of me. I was shocked by the stats and found myself fighting feelings of fear and despair.
When you walk the streets of my neighborhood in broad daylight and stick to the safety of your home after dark, it's easy to forget the chaos and violence of the streets. It's a dark and broken world - full of violence and oppression. And while there are many reasons to despair, I want to be a person that does not let go of hope. Because one day, God will redeem this fallen world and set all things right. I am reminded of the sermon that I gave for my internship class...
17 "See, I will create
new heavens and a new earth.
The former things will not be remembered,
nor will they come to mind.
18 But be glad and rejoice forever
in what I will create,
for I will create Jerusalem to be a delight
and its people a joy.
19 I will rejoice over Jerusalem
and take delight in my people;
the sound of weeping and of crying
will be heard in it no more." (Isaiah 65:17-19)
I refuse to live in fear. I refuse to lose hope. I choose to be glad and rejoice in what the Lord will create. For He is a God that redeems all things.... and not just in the idealized New Heavens and New Earth, but here and now. Join me in praying for my neighborhood.
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Update Letter - September 2011
Hello and happy fall to you! It's great to finally be able to connect with you and send you an update about life and work here in South Los Angeles. The past few months have felt like a whirlwind! We finished the spring quarter of the internship, had a month off from meetings, worked on our gifts projects, completed personal development plans for the coming year, and finally restarted our regular meetings just last night! I also had the incredible blessing of a great visit from a Colorado friend and a trip home for yet another friend's wedding and my nephew's 3rd birthday! There are so many stories I could tell, but unfortunately time and space is just too limited. Please read on to hear about some incredible and exciting plans for the coming year of the Servant Partners internship, including a quickly-approaching site visit to Bolivia!
Unlocking my Giftedness...
We spent the majority of the summer working on our gifts projects. Our investigation involved reading a book about spiritual gifts, taking several personal surveys from the book, asking for input from close family, friends, and ministry partners, writing up our findings, and meeting with SP staff and selected teammates to discuss our projects. The whole process was very helpful. We determined that my most prominent and utilized spiritual gift is that of mercy, which is often accompanied by whatever other behind-the-scenes gifts that are necessary to love people well, meet felt needs, and respond to situations of pain and injustice. I was also pleasantly surprised to discover a deep desire and bent towards a few of the word-focused spiritual gifts - especially exhortation, pastoring, and possibly teaching. I realized, while I love being present to people in pain, I really desire to be able to increase my care for people through words of truth and encouragement. While this desire exists in my heart, I am often hindered by a lack of confidence and authority. A reorientation of my mindset is required in order to step into my God-given authority.
In response to the many discoveries of my gifts project, I have put together a development plan for the final 9 months of the Servant Partners internship. You can read more about the specifics of that plan on my blog, but it heavily focuses on a few areas - growing in spiritual disciplines of abstention/rest, stepping into teaching and leadership opportunities in order to grow in confidence and authority, and an intentional investigation into post-internship overseas ministry opportunities in Bolivia! I am so grateful for the structures of this internship which are very specifically designed to allow me the time and space to address areas of needed growth in my life and pursue whatever plans the Lord would have for me in this life.
In July, I joined a few of my teammates for an adventure to Sequoia National Park. It was so refreshing to get out of the city for a couple of days and I was blown away by the wonder and beauty of the mountains. Reminded me of home...Yes, BOLIVIA!!!
Since first traveling to La Paz, Bolivia with a short-term team after high school, the place and people of this very special South American country have held a prominent place in my heart. I've journeyed back to La Paz 3 times since this initial visit, including a 6-month stint during college. And no matter where I've found myself over the last several years, the hope to return to Bolivia always seems to be present. I am happy to say that the time has come! As part of my development plan, I have set the goal of completing a "site visit" to Bolivia and considering a possible long-term call to ministry in Bolivia! Yes, very exciting! I feel very blessed to tell you that one of my teammates, Keo, has decided to join me on this reconnaissance trip. It has been a great experience to be able to pray, plan, and process everything with her. We've also been able to connect with a good friend of mine in Bolivia who has been a HUGE help in terms of establishing contacts and a schedule for our time in La Paz. All this to say... we have purchased our tickets to Bolivia and we will be leaving in about a month and a half (traveling November 11-24)!!!
We plan to meet with a hand full of ministries in La Paz that are already ministering in some capacity to the urban poor, but we are also going with the intention of getting a feel for the spiritual climate of La Paz, identifying a few of the biggest felt needs of the poor, and visioning whether or not it might be appropriate to lobby for a future Servant Partners site in La Paz. There are many logistics to pull together in a short amount of time and we would greatly appreciate your partnership. We would invite you to support us during our trip through specific and faithful prayers. If you would be interested in partnering in this way, please contact me so that I can send you a couple of very specific prayer requests. I would also be very blessed if you would consider partnering with me financially in this endeavor. Including airfare, travel, food, etc., we are estimating a total cost of about $1,500 for each of us to participate in this site visit. If it is on your heart to give in this way, please let me know. Please contact me so we can talk about the logistics of your gift.
Me and my teammate Keo! We have lots of fun together and I am so excited that she will be joining me for our site visit to Bolivia. Partnership is such a blessing!It's surreal to think that this trip could lead to, not just another short-term missions "experience", but a long-term commitment to a country and a people for which I feel such deep cariño y compasión. Thank you for considering partnering with me and my teammate Keo, in whichever way you are able, in this exciting and humbling endeavor.
Gratefully yours,
Ali Fraze
Please pray for:
- Logistics of trip to Bolivia (visas, accomodations, schedule, finances, etc.)
- Rest and solitude in a very busy season
- Growth as a teacher and a leader
- A good semester with my students at the tutoring center
- Follow through on development plan
- A good and fruitful last year of the internship
- Logistics of trip to Bolivia (visas, accomodations, schedule, finances, etc.)
- Rest and solitude in a very busy season
- Growth as a teacher and a leader
- A good semester with my students at the tutoring center
- Follow through on development plan
- A good and fruitful last year of the internship
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