10 Days

Counting from today, there are only 10 days left in the Servant Partners internship. Dang.

It's hard to believe it's been nearly 2 years. It's crazy to look back over the last 2 years and marvel at all that has happened. But honestly, the last few weeks have become very emotional for me. And all of the emotion culminated today, turning me into a messy, funky, emotional blah. I don't think I've ever really been good at processing goodbyes. But I have been making an effort to be more reflective and self-aware, so maybe this transition out of the internship will be a little more healthy. Healthy or not, processing this stuff is hard. But I think the fact that it is hard shows that I have really invested in this program and this place. And I truly will be sad to leave.

Aside from the sadness, the enemy also seems to be attacking me with doubt. This transition will be launching me into a whole new season of creating community, exploring ministry, getting up close and personal with international poverty, being exposed to suffering and oppression, and learning to hang onto the Lord with all my strength. The transition has begun to bring up lots of questions. Am I really any different than I was when I joined the internship? Do I really have anything I can offer in ministry? What if the door to Bolivia closes? How will I cope without my tight community in LA? What is God doing??

I know it's normal to have some anxiety in the middle of many unknowns and transitions. And while I'm sure there is still plenty of room to grow, I can recognize ways that the Lord has given me victory over anxiety and peace that surpasses understanding. While it's easy to doubt and question what lasting work God has done in this season, I have to fight the doubt and cry out with confidence, "I am different! God, thank you for walking with me and calling me into risk and challenge that has deepened my faith and given me new skills. You are good and faithful and I have much reason to praise you!"

Please join me in praying for myself and my teammates as we wrap up the internship. I am the only one leaving South LA soon after the internship, but everyone will be going through changes as they transition out of this structured ministry season. Pray for sweet times together, good reflection over the internship, and a profound blessing from the Lord as we are commissioned into the world. Thanks, friends. :)

Suffering

This past weekend we had a seminar for the internship. One of the senior staff of Servant Partners, Kevin, flew out from CO to teach the whole weekend on the topic of suffering. I wasn't sure what a seminar on such a topic would be like, but I was really blessed by this extended time of teaching.

We studied the book of Habakkuk as our guide through the theme of suffering. I'm not sure that I've ever read the book of Habakkuk before this weekend. And if I had read it on my own I'm pretty sure that I wouldn't have gotten much out of it. Kevin did an incredible job of contextualizing this prophetic book within the time and events in which it was written. The first four verses are very clearly a desperate call for help. Things have gotten pretty bad for Israel and Habakkuk has been a faithful servant of the Lord, crying out for God's intervention during a violent and chaotic time. He seems exasperated by the situation and frustrated that the Lord doesn't seem to hear his cries for help or care enough to intercede. Habakkuk is calling for help and he desperately wants something to happen NOW.

Well Habakkuk finally receives an answer from the Lord in the next several verses, but I'm willing to bet that it's not exactly the news that Habakkuk has hoping for. God basically says, "What I'm about to tell you, you aren't even going to believe. Look, you think it's bad now? It's about to get A LOT worse. Soon I will raise up your enemies. The Babylonians are going to rise up in power and completely ravage Israel and dominate the entire region." The Babylonians were the worst kind of pagans around at this time. They did not fear God Almighty, but relied on their own strength as their god. God was about to respond the Habakkuk's cries, but he was going to do something completely unexpected and unthinkable.

While the news of God's plan is surprising, Habakkuk does not seem to lose all hope. He seems to be secure in his identity as God's chosen servant and trusts that the Lord will indeed preserve his people. Habakkuk recognizes that God is good and powerful and completely sovereign, but he understandably responds with some questions for God. "God, you are HOLY, so how can you use such a detestable nation for your good purpose? I know Israel has her issues, but the Babylonians are an utterly godless nation that seeks nothing but destruction and unfair gain. But if this is your plan, I trust that you are good and I will wait in anticipation to see what you will do." Not only did Habakkuk believe the Lord, but he chose to accept God's plan as a purification for his people.

God responds by telling Habakkuk to write his revelation in stone for it is sure to happen. You can absolutely bank on it, and it won't delay long. And as for the detestable nation that God will use to carry out his plan... they will be judged. While it may look like they will be unstoppable, the Lord will quickly bring them down and judge them for every single atrocity that they commit. You have no need to seek vengeance on your enemies, for God is the judge of all. The righteous need only live by faith in their good, faithful and holy Creator.

The book of Habakkuk ends with a prayer. It's incredible to see the change in Habakkuk's heart. The prophet is transformed from an impatient, frustrated, hopeless man into a humble, patient, trusting follower of God Almighty. He is able to look upon the eminent destruction of his nation with peace and trust knowing that God ultimately intends for the good and prosperity of his people. God is in his holy temple so who are we to accuse him or question his intentions?

The new testament is full of words to the church of its call to suffer. Just as Jesus suffered, we are called to embrace the suffering of Christ. Jesus also tells his disciples that they will be hated and persecuted as believers. We cannot be caught off guard when we encounter suffering in our lives. We must arm ourselves with the promises of God that all will stand before Him in judgement and those that trust in Him will share in his inheritance. Not only are we to arm ourselves for the suffering that will surely come, but we should rejoice in this suffering, knowing that our souls are entrusted to our faithful Creator. We can be sure that our times of greatest anguish will also be our times of greatest consolation. God promises that as we draw close to Him, He will draw close to us (James 4:8). There is some growth and intimacy that just isn't possible except through suffering.

I'm not saying that times of great suffering will be easy by any means, but we can trust that God is in control and that He is doing more than we can presently see or imagine. No matter the wretchedness of this life, we can be sure that God is yet good. Hallelujah!