Prayer Retreat

This weekend (January 28-30) all of the Servant Partners interns will be off on a prayer retreat. It's our last push for resting and connecting to God before the ministry projects begin. Irony aside, I would greatly appreciate it if you would pray for our time of prayer. Please pray for:

• Open ears to hear what God is saying to us
• Healing of our fears and insecurities
• Gifts of peace, strength and whatever else we need for the months ahead

Details are still sparse on the upcoming ministry projects, but when I have more specifics, I'll definitely be sure to let you know!

Promise for Restoration

Yesterday was sermon day. All of us interns were required to prepare a 20-minute sermon on an assigned passage from scripture to give to our class and staff. Public speaking is one of my fears, making this sermon deal pretty frightening. But the Lord is faithful and he gave me strength and authority to speak. It was by no means perfect, but I can see how I am beginning to grow and be more comfortable in a teaching role.

You can read through my sermon below if you want.

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This world that we live in is pretty messed up. I mean, let’s face it; unless you’re living under a rock, it’s nearly impossible to get through a single day without seeing or hearing news of tragedy and heartbreak. We just passed the one year anniversary of the devastating earthquake in Haiti, which claimed the lives of thousands of people and left an entire city in ruins. And a year later, the country has seen very little progress in the way of rebuilding and is overwhelmed with homelessness, disease, and despair. Just 2 weeks ago, a crazed shooter at an Arizona shopping center took the lives of 6 innocent people, including a 9 year old little girl. The families, the community, and the entire nation were left stunned. Sickness and accidents seem to have affected each of us in some way or another. Even now, we are walking alongside our sister Grace and her family in the devastating reality of Stage 3 Colon Cancer, struggling to understand God’s plan. Unfortunately, I could go on and on about the tragedy and brokenness of our world.

On a more personal note, I first experienced the reality of poverty during my time spent in La Paz, Bolivia. One group I got to know in Bolivia was the shoeshiners. In La Paz there are thousands of people (mostly young guys) that walk the city streets looking for shoeshine clients. At first sight they might even frighten you because most of them wear ski masks over their faces. Most of the guys do this to conceal their identity because shoeshining is looked upon as one of the most shameful and lowly occupations. In the overwhelmed urban economy with few job opportunities, the guys are doing their best to earn an income to support their families or pay their way through school, but many of their families and friends don’t even know that they’re shoeshiners. The culture is one of shame and hopelessness and despair, often steeped in alcoholism and violence. One specific story that comes to mind is about a shoeshiner named Freddy. At the time Freddy was about 30 years old. He was married and had two young kids that he adored. One day he came to basketball practice completely trashed. The guys had come to practice a little tipsy before, but this was different. Freddy was drunk and not only that, he had tears in his eyes. He went on to tell us that he just found out that his wife had been cheating on him… for the past 10 years… with his brother! Freddy was in complete despair. He didn’t know what to do, he didn’t know where to turn or how to save his marriage, so he turned to alcohol. The next several months, it was a rare occasion to see Freddy sober. It can be a real challenge to encourage these guys, especially when they are ignored and condemned by so many of their own people. How do you even begin to speak hope into these situations?

I’m here to tell you that despite the heartbreak and the brokenness of this world, there is hope. There is hope for a future free from injustice, free from sorrow, and free from violence. There will be a day when every tear will be wiped away and every wrong will be made right.

Today we’re going to look at God’s promise for the restoration of his people. I’m going to read from the book of Isaiah, chapter 65, starting in verse 17. Listen, and soak in God’s promise to you as I read the passage…

Isaiah 65:17-19

Behold, I will create new heavens and a new earth. The former things will not be remembered, nor will they come to mind. But be glad and rejoice forever in what I will create, for I will create Jerusalem to be a delight and its people a joy. I will rejoice over Jerusalem and take delight in my people; the sound of weeping and of crying will be heard in it no more.

The word of the Lord.

We serve a God who cares deeply for his people. Amen? And one day all the brokenness and the pain of this world will cease. God promises to restore his people to right standing with him. Despite the darkness of this world, we have a hope for restoration – a hope that our Creator will redeem his beloved sons and daughters and delight in them.

Let’s look at the verses that follow to get a fuller picture of God’s vision for this restored world. Verse 20 reads,

“Never again will there be in it an infant who lives but a few days, or an old man who does not live out his years; he who dies at a hundred will be thought a mere youth; he who fails to reach a hundred will be considered accursed.”

What kind of picture does this paint? What would this mean for our present world? It kinda sounds like good health care! Babies and mothers would never be in danger of dying during childbirth. Everyone would be able to live long and full lives. The elderly would be loved and cared for. Disease would no longer steal away our loved ones. Violence would no longer take the lives of our youth.

And then the next couple of verses:

“They will build houses and dwell in them; they will plant vineyards and eat their fruit. No longer will they build houses and others live in them, or plant and others eat. For as the days of a tree, so will be the days of my people; my chosen ones will long enjoy the works of their hands.”

So in God’s ideal, His beloved would be able to live and work and eat as they choose. All the oppression and the unbalanced distribution of wealth in our world would finally be rectified. Everyone would have rights to their very own land and own their own home and work would no longer be meaningless toil. Work would be a joy! Can you even imagine such a place? The days would march on peacefully into eternity, allowing every person the opportunity to truly enjoy and appreciate this beautiful world and live out the good and intended purposes for their lives.

And in a similar vein, the passage continues:

“They will not toil in vain or bear children doomed to misfortune; for they will be a people blessed by the LORD, they and their descendants with them. Before they call I will answer; while they are still speaking I will hear. The wolf and the lamb will feed together, and the lion will eat straw like the ox, but dust will be the serpent’s food. They will neither harm nor destroy on all my holy mountain,” says the LORD.

God’s people would be truly BLESSED… not just in theory or in principle, but in tangible and extravagant ways. When this restored kingdom finally comes, we will know unrestricted intimacy with our Creator! There will be continuous and everlasting peace and justice will finally be served to the enemies of the Lord. That would mean no more gang wars here or anywhere! God’s people will live on forever basking in the glory of God and rejoicing in his beautiful and perfect creation.

Wow, it’s quite a vision isn’t it? It’s beautiful. This is the God we serve. This is the future that we hope and yearn for.

Knowing all this, what does it look like for us to live as a people that hope for redemption?

First of all, this hope requires action.

Our God is not a passive or uninvolved God, he is a God that cares deeply and loves extravagantly. And I believe he invites us to be involved in this work as well. When we see injustice in our world, we should react with passion rather than apathy; with compassionate action rather than sterile sentiments; with a helping hand rather than a judgmental eye; with love rather than hate. If we are to alleviate the pain and suffering of our poor brothers and sisters here in South LA and the world, we must believe that transformation is possible here and now. The Servant Partners chapter in the Living Mission book expresses this idea well. It says:

“…the fact that God has allowed such suffering should not lead us to believe that he is indifferent to it or that he does not intend to limit its presence in the world. His plan to deal with suffering is to create a people who live as citizens of his kingdom on the earth. We are to be salt and light in an insipid and dark world. At this point in the story, we who follow Jesus are participants in God’s answer to the world’s brokenness. Eventually the promise is that God himself will wipe away our tears, but in this life he calls us to be his hands and feet… Our efforts to see God’s kingdom come will always be imperfect …but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be moving towards God’s intention for us.” Living Mission p. 74-75

Until the day the LORD restores his people and wipes away each and every tear, we are called to do our part to usher in his kingdom here on earth. We are called to react to injustice with zeal, proclaiming NO MORE!

NO MORE will there be hunger.

NO MORE will homelessness.

NO MORE will there be abuse and violence.

NO MORE will there be sickness and disease.

NO MORE will there be hopelessness and despair.

Now, I’m sure I’m preaching to the choir here about seeking redemption and justice for the poor and hurting. Each one of us has set our lives on course to serve and love the poor. We see God’s heart for the least of these and want to be involved in bringing help and answers and hope. This is the kingdom of God in action, but as we work toward this end, we must be careful about the attitude of our hearts in this work, for God alone can heal. Amen? And God alone can fulfill his promise for the restoration of his people. God ALONE can redeem his people.

So, when we look forward to the hope of the restored kingdom, what should our attitude be?

Our attitude should be one of anticipation and hope. The promise for restoration should be a promise that we cling to, believing God to fulfill it. This promise should completely determine our attitude and trajectory.

In addition to waiting with anticipation and responding to the injustices of our world, I believe there is even more that the LORD requires of us. Let’s revisit the passage in Isaiah again:

Behold, I will create new heavens and a new earth. The former things will not be remembered, nor will they come to mind. But be glad and rejoice forever in what I will create, for I will create Jerusalem to be a delight and its people a joy.

We see that God commands us to be glad and rejoice forever in his creation. This verse refers specifically to the future restored creation – which means having our eyes fixed on heaven and being confident that God will have the last word in all this – but how many times does Jesus refer to the Kingdom of God on earth? The kingdom is here. The kingdom is within us. Just as we have learned to pray: His kingdom come, His will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. So, one tangible way that we can live as a people of hope is to find joy in God’s creation here and now. And I don’t think creation simply means the mountains and the sun and the trees, but it also includes his people and the role he created them to fulfill. We should rejoice in the small ways in which our friends and neighbors are living up to the purpose God has given them. We bring glory to our Creator when we find joy in His creation.

So let’s rejoice!

Let’s rejoice when the youth choose God rather than gangs.

Let’s rejoice when crime drops and education improves.

Let’s rejoice when love overpowers lust.

Let’s rejoice in the determination of our neighbors to overcome.

And let’s rejoice in the transformation that God ALONE can bring!

This world is broken and hurting, but there is also so much to rejoice about. The Living God is present here with us, bringing real restoration and hope to his people. His forgiveness and love has transformed us into new creations. The old has gone, the new has come. We have all personally experienced the restorative power of God, giving us a very powerful witness to share with our hurting neighbors. Am I right? Transformation is possible now and we can rejoice in that reality! The Lord is powerful and good, always faithful to fulfill his promises.

So… remember my friend Freddy? Well I wish I could tell you that God healed his brokenness and that he wakes up each day filled with hope. I actually don’t know how he’s doing right now. While I was in Bolivia, my friends and I would invite him to study the bible with us and learn the truth about a compassionate God that promises to redeem all things. But Freddy would show up to our bible studies trashed out of his mind and filled with anger. Unfortunately, Freddy didn’t make a decision to follow Christ at that time, but I pray that he has come to know the Lord since then and been transformed by his peace and hope. Despite our best efforts, we were unable to change Freddy’s heart. But it’s not our job anyways, it’s God’s. And I have to trust that the Lord is able to do that work and without my help. It was frustrating to see the downward spiral of Freddy’s life and I struggled for a while wondering why God would not pull him from the pit. But the Lord is in control and the Lord promises to redeem ALL things.

More powerful than the hope we have for restoration in this world, we hope for a time when ALL things will be made right - when our broken relationship with the Father will be restored once and for all. And when God’s creation will be renewed and restored to its original radiance and splendor. When we will be free to experience unrestricted intimacy with our Creator and live in his good and life-giving purpose for us.

Stay tuned for Grace’s sermon to learn more about the awesome reality of a restored relationship with our Creator. But let’s remember and relish in God’s promise for the restoration of his creation – a world free of tears, free of oppression, free of violence – and FULL of the presence and peace of our Lord.

So what are you going to do? How are you going to live a life of hope, of action, and of joy?

Maybe it means standing up for a cause that you believe in. Like fighting to insure that everyone has access to a good education; or working to reduce domestic violence and abuse; or making sure everyone on the globe has access to clean water. Maybe you can focus your time here in South LA on encouraging the single moms in your building or helping high school students apply for college.

Maybe it means making an effort to rejoice in the beauty of creation and all the ways the Lord is bringing about healing and transformation to this world. As an example, I know Grace has been intentionally practicing this discipline by trying to praise the Lord daily via an online journal. It’s a great way to remember the Lord’s goodness and focus on his promise for the redemption of this world. Maybe a practical exercise like this could be helpful for you as well.

So what are you going to do? How are you going to respond to God’s promise? Try to take some time this week to think about it.

I want to encourage us to be a people of hope. Let’s be a people that works toward the transformation of this world and looks to the future with excited anticipation, trusting God to fulfill his promise for complete restoration.

Malibu!

I got to enjoy a beautiful day at a beach in Malibu last weekend. As soon as the sun began to set, I couldn't stop taking pictures! So gorgeous!

Introducing... Miss Ali!

Last week I was informed about a teaching opportunity at the after school program in our neighborhood called Adventures Ahead. It was started by our church and the neighborhood development organization that was birthed from the church. The director of the program is an alum of the SP internship program and one of my fellow interns teaches one of the classes.

I didn't inquire about the opening right away since I was still hoping to hear positive news from the company I interviewed with the week before. But after getting a "no" from them, I reconsidered the opportunity at Adventures Ahead. On Sunday I talked with the director, who was excited about my inquiry and was prepared to offer me the position if I wanted it. She needed a decision fast because classes started today! After some discussion, some thought, and some prayer, I decided to take the job!

It's only about 8 hours a week, but I'm excited nonetheless. I'm excited to have something to dedicate myself to. I'm excited to have responsibility. I'm excited to learn and grow. I will be teaching the 1st and 2nd grade class - which is 5 students at this point, 2 boys and 3 girls. We meet Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, 4-6pm. The 2 hour block consists of 30 minutes of homework help, a 15 minute math game, a 15 minute snack, and an hour of reading. They have a very organized and extensive reading curriculum to get through, as reading proficiency is the main objective of the program.

The extent of my teaching experience is helping to teach some English classes in Bolivia in 2006 and some swim lessons in Costa Rica in 2008. As you may know, being in front of people is not my favorite thing in the world. And teaching 1st and 2nd graders definitely requires patience, compassion and perseverance. I immediately think of my friend, Abby... I may be calling you, Abby, if things get tough! :)

Anyways, just wanted to share the exciting news. Please pray for good connections with my students, for the ability to discipline harshly when needed, for an absence of fear and timidity, and for incredible growth in teaching and speaking. Thanks!

- Miss Ali :)

Check out my sweet classroom!

Please Pray

Hello, praying friends!

My roommate Grace and her family are in need of your prayers. Grace's dad works as a professor and lives most of the year in Taiwan. Over the past several months he has experienced debilitating back and stomach pains. The doctors were finally able to locate the source of the problem and scheduled surgery. The surgery and subsequent biopsies showed that Grace's dad (Isaac) has stage 3C colon cancer. Which basically means that the cancer is serious and it has begun to spread to other parts of his body. Isaac lost his father and brother to cancer, which makes him unexcited about the recommended radiation treatments. The situation is especially difficult since he is so far away. Grace's mom decided to head back to Taiwan this weekend to be with her husband. Grace is waiting for an update after she arrives and may also make the trip out there soon to be with her dad.

Here are some of Grace's prayer requests:

• Pray for strength and wisdom for all of us.

• Ask the Lord to encourage us and teach us to pray, to know what to pray for.

• Please pray also for my father's family in Taiwan that currently is taking turns being with him to take care of him.

Truly our God is a God of hope and mercies that are new every morning! Though the past week has been very difficult, the Lord has been encouraging me in new and unexpected ways. Also, it sounds like the Lord has been encouraging my father and bringing him hope. Please pray for God to continue giving him hope that is from God and encouragement and peace that only the spirit can give.

Thanks so much for your prayers!

The Power of the Holy Spirit

Tonight at our SP meeting we discussed a book called Reimagining Evangelism. The word evangelism tends to make me cringe. Maybe some of you share my sentiment. I want to tell people about the loving goodness and power of God, but prefer to speak with my actions rather than words. I always justified my silence by blaming my introverted personality and fear of talking to new people. While I have no doubt that the Lord can use my actions and behind the scenes service to glorify him, it unfortunately doesn't give me a free pass to avoid participating in works of evangelism.

There were two themes that this book really stressed. First, that we should shift our mindset about evangelism from activism to collaboration. It's not about how much we can do to reach people for the kingdom of God, but it's about collaborating with the work of the Holy Spirit and being sensitive to its leading. Second, evangelism is all about learning to tell our own story. "...people today tend to distrust logic and truth when it is expressed propositionally and dogmatically. But when our truth is enfleshed in the stories of our lives, people are interested" (p. 85).

Our internship class is heading into a very busy and stretching season. February 1 marks the beginning of our "ministry projects". We're not yet sure what our ministry project will consist of, but what we do know is that we will be making an intense commitment to our neighbors/neighborhood and to being faithful to the ministry to which God calls us. Our schedule will be very full with SP meetings, ministry obligations, and regular encounters with our neighbors.

This season of the internship is also a great season to really be thinking about evangelism. It's clear that the Lord is really going to challenge and stretch our team to know our neighbors. And I think he will also grow us in the way of evangelism - calling us to be bold, to take risks, and to overcome our insecurities and fears. It's with excitement and reservation that I type these words. I desire so badly to grow in evangelism, but I also cringe at the thought of talking to strangers and talking about spirituality.

At the end of our meeting, our staff guy, Brad, wanted to spend some time in prayer. Instead of praying in general for our team he asked if one person might be willing to ask for prayer, confessing their fears and voicing their desire to grow and change through the power of the Holy Spirit. After a few seconds of conviction and slight panic, I voiced my desire for prayer. I've always yearned to be bathed in prayer, asking for the baptism of the Holy Spirit. I desire to be freed from my insecurities and fear of rejection. I desire to be fully secure in my identity in Christ and free to love and speak with authority. "For God has not given me a spirit of fear and timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self-discipline" (2 Tim 1:7).

I was then blessed by about 20 minutes of prayer from my teammates. What a blessing! They voiced my desires and pleaded with the Holy Spirit to fill me and lead me. I was given the blessing of power and authority and my tongue was loosed to speak truth to whoever God puts in my path. I felt free, I felt empowered. I pray the Lord will continue to grow in me a spirit of power and authority and a passion for sharing his truth with my neighbors. May this change be real and lasting. Praise God!

A job?

Sorry for my absence in the blogosphere. I was holding out in a way, hoping that I might be able to give you fantastic news of a new job!!! But alas, I am still unemployed.

I had two good interviews with a marketing/fundraising company last week. I wasn't sure why they wanted to talk to me since I don't seem to have much relevant experience. But I was encouraged by their pursuit and I was getting really excited about their work and about learning some skills in the marketing/fundraising field. I thought I may have impressed them with my nerdy engineering background and knack for details. Holding on to the sliver of hope. But sadly, I got the rejection email today.

Blah. Discouragement. Questions. Frustration. Sadness. Disappointment.

But this is not the end. My identity is not wrapped up in this job or any job. I am a beloved child of God and that alone determines my worth. And I trust (at least in this moment) that God has a plan, a better plan.

Praying for discernment for the next step in the journey.

You Give and Take Away

Lyrics to one of my favorite worship songs. These words have meant so much to me on my Christian walk for many different reasons and remind me that God is good despite my circumstances and He deserves my praise. If you're not familiar, check out the song here.

This past week has been... tough. You can call it homesickness from being away from my family over the holidays, or maybe frustration/loneliness from the fruitless job search, or maybe just hormones. Whatever it was, I don't think I've cried so much in a single week, ever.

It started off with God really pushing me in the area of conflict resolution. A couple minor incidents with teammates left me feeling a little sad/disrespected/misunderstood. Even though I really struggle in this area, I am determined to grow, with God's help. I was able to bring up one tiny conflict with a roommate all by myself (after hours of working up to it :-/). And then just the next day there was a small incident with another teammate that left me crying randomly in a coffee shop. But I'm so thankful for my teammates. Instead of brushing off my weirdo crying episode, my two awesome teammates that were with me forced me to talk about my feelings! Right then and there. I was feeling pretty awkward talking about feelings in the very public coffee shop table and it wasn't helping that I was half-way sobbing through my words. Phew, who knew talking about feelings could be so exhausting?

And then on Monday, what I thought would be a great day at orientation for a potential tutoring position, turned into an emotional, confusing, frustrating nightmare. After being required to sign paperwork in order to get fingerprinted (making me liable for the $88 charge - which I knew nothing about going into the day), the staff proceeded to spend the majority of the day teaching us how to fill out all of the required paperwork and time cards for the job, finally arriving at the details of the contract employee agreement contract. There were some fishy lines in the contract which held each contractor liable to all of the hours corresponding to the students that they are assigned. Each hour that is not completed by the end of the semester (due to lack of time, missed sessions, or resigning from the position), would require the contractor to pay the tutoring company at $27/hour. Based on the fact that the tutoring schedule might not work great with the SP internship schedule and that I would most likely still need to look for a more permanent position, I did not feel comfortable being held liable for all those hours. After explaining all this to the staff and telling her I really didn't feel like the position was a good fit, I told her that I didn't think I'd be coming back for the second day of orientation and asked if there was any way that she could cancel the fingerprinting and the financial charge. She said there was no way to do that and that I'd be held liable for the $88, and that I might as well come for the second day of orientation just in case I changed my mind about working with them in the future. I reluctantly turned in my paperwork and left that place feeling mad, frustrated, confused, and cheated. Then I cried about it, then I cried some more when I explained it to each of my roommates, and then some more when the team was over at our place for dinner that night. Ugh, I hate crying so much. That same day, my roommate received a full time job offer. Which is GREAT! But which did serve to throw a little salt on the wound.

And then a few days later, I realized that a potential "employer" that I had been corresponding with via email, was a complete scam. This one hurt since it was the first and only positive response that I have received from an engineering position. But after some further research, it looks like the company is a complete hoax. I guess they get schmuck job searchers like me to buy the "required" review manual for their skills assessment exam. Thankfully, I didn't give them any money before the scam radar went off. Thanks a lot, jerks.

All the crap aside, God is faithful. He continues to walk with me and provide everything that I need each day. I am determined to continue putting one foot in front of the other and trust Him to lead me down the right path. On this first of the year, I'm praying for a blessed 2011. A year full of new things, opportunities, growth of character, faith, and skills, and continual dependence on my good and faithful Lord. I pray the same for you in this new year. He alone is powerful!

In other news, I have my first legit interview on Monday. It's a phone interview with a real company for a real job that sounds really awesome. Your prayers are greatly appreciated!