Willing to Sacrifice

It sure is tough to find time to blog these days! I've been wanting to write this blog for a few days now... I'm going to jot down my thoughts since I have some time and hopefully they come together and make sense.

This past weekend, my team and I traveled to Pomona, CA for a weekend prayer retreat. These quarterly retreats have been super fruitful for me over the past year and I am really grateful for these scheduled times to reflect, pray, and rest. After eating dinner on Friday, we were encouraged to spend a little time with God, asking him to speak about what he might want to do with us over the weekend. As I was praying and reflecting during this time, a very interesting, and seemingly random passage of Scripture came to mind. It was the one about God calling Abraham to take his son Isaac up to the mountain to sacrifice him. If you're not familiar with the story, check out it out here:

Bible Gateway passage: Genesis 22 - New International Version 1984

Now, if you know the story, you know how huge of a request this was for God to make of Abraham. Not only was this his one and only son, it was the fulfillment of God's promise to bless Abraham and his wife Sarah and all generations by making Abraham the "father of many nations". Abraham was 100 years old when God finally blessed Sarah and Abraham with a son. Now he was asking Abraham to give up this miraculous gift! And even more miraculously, Abraham obeyed God's command without a single doubt or question.

Now, when this verse came to mind, I was a little confused. I hadn't read this passage for a couple of years probably and it didn't seem very relevant to me. But it seemed quite poignant and I did not question that God wanted to speak to me through this passage that He brought to my mind. After some reflection and prayer, it seems to me that God may have brought this passage to mind in reference to my upcoming trip to Bolivia. I've been passionate about Bolivia for 8 years now and have been anxiously awaiting the day when the Lord might call me to make a long-term commitment to this place. I felt like God was telling me to check my posture toward Bolivia. Am I placing too much hope and emphasis on Bolivia? Do I view my call toward Bolivia as a gift from God? Am I willing to sacrifice this call if God calls me to do so? Is my first and greatest desire to know, love, and obey God?

At first, I was a little worried that God was closing the door to Bolivia, but I don't think this is his intention. Rather, He is calling me to go to Bolivia with right and sober judgement. He is the one that gave me the call to Bolivia and I need to recognize it as a gift from Him. God is my first love and He knows my heart. If I am able to hold my desires and His promises with open hands, He will know that I love and fear Him above all else.

I'm still working through this, but I am challenged and encouraged by this word. It's always good to check my motives and it seems an appropriate time as I prepare to make a discernment trip to Bolivia. May your will be done, Father. Either way, I want to love you and obey you.